This blog is to keep track of my writing (from Oct. '14 onward), saving tips and tricks I find, little rants or raves, and so on. If you don't like it, kindly leave. I am a fangirl and reviewer, so do tend to post on that note as well.
Pick a pairing or fandom you like Turn your music player on and turn it to random Write a drabble/ficlet to each song that plays. You only have the duration of the song; when it starts you start and when it stops you stop. No lingering after! No matter how weird, horrid or whacked out your drabble/ficlet is Do ten of these and then post them!
This is AFF, and I should be doing my fave OTP or something… or a certain group, but this only says pairing or fandom and I’m loophole-ing my way out and taking the highway to hell ba dum tsss~
Supernatural. SPN fans. This is for you. I’m choosing that fandom, but doing multiple pairings. Except, I shall list them first. Then let my phone play and choose the fate of it all.
Famed Destiel bitches.
DeanxJo
SamxRuby
Another Destiel
Megstiel
Sam/Lucifer
Destiel but Demon!Dean and Angel!Castiel
Crowley / Dean
Team Free Will
Dean/Anna
Satellite Heart – Anya Marina | Destiel
Dean sat at the table, drinking his usual, waiting to hear from Sam over the current case. He hadn’t seen Castiel in days, hearing that he was upset over Hannah leaving. And though he wasn’t thrilled that Hannah returned to Heaven, he was filled with a mixture of jealousy and a weird antsy feeling that Castiel wasn’t with Hannah anymore. The jealousy part had faded, but it was still there, hurting in a way. He cared for Cas, but he didn’t love him, right? Oh, no, he’d correct his mind; shaking his head to throw the thoughts far away, only to make them rumble around in his head even more. He just wanted to see Cas, to see him back to his old self and not caring that Hannah made that instantaneous decision. What he didn’t know what the feelings that built up between the two angels on their small journey. And those thoughts of possibilities ached Dean. But he swore to himself it was just friendship jealously. That’s all…. Right?
Airplane – B.o.B ft. Hailey Williams | Dean x Jo
It had been years since Jo Harvelle died. It had been years and the pain still ached both Dean and Sam to their very inner core. And what souls they had left. And Dean could count all the snide remarks and teasing Jo would send his way if she saw him now. He’d laugh, ruffling her hair, and joking back, say something like, “You want to carry the Mark of Cain for awhile then?” But he couldn’t. And even after all this time, he’d pray up to Jo and Ellen, thanking them for that day. And he’d hope the two angels would hear his soft words that barely left his mouth.
It was that fateful night that Dean was upset over nearly going back to his demon self, that he nearly cried in his room, hands to his eyes; he heard that ever so familiar voice drawing his head up. “You’re strong, Dean. It’s not something you can just get over.” And she wasn’t there, but he felt the words hit him and a sob swell up in his chest.
Broken – Seether ft. Amy Lee | Sam x Ruby
Years. Something Sam shared with Dean when it came to loves. His regretful love towards a particular demon would come back at unexpecting moments when something would happen that reminded Sam of those days. Those days weren’t the best; killing, murdering, drinking demon blood, having such telekinetic powers throb through his veins and what soul he had then. Ruby supported him, with fake words, and sex, and pain. She urged him on. All to be betrayed in the end. Sam knew Ruby wasn’t one he should love, but that lust and odd feeling of attachment still haunted Sam on the weak days, the hard days, the days something strange happened and he swore he could feel her touch.
Ruby, now a victim to the everlost dungeons of Hell, where Crowley threw her, wasn’t dead nor alive. She suffered. Her worship towards Lilith got her here… but was it worth it? Was her attachment to that poor, pitiful Winchester boy worth it? She could admit the lust towards him. And she missed the touch; the panting in between intimate moments where she swore she was human again. But it was worth the deception and pain; to break the final seal. Only to be cheated again. And she swore… nothing was worth it after that.
Anything Could Happen – Ellie Goulding | another Destiel
Dean Winchester was a normal, rebellious teen, locked in Kansas. His younger brother was a nerd; he’d been away at some speech event and though Dean usually supported him and followed along, he was forbidden after last time. And that was okay.
But this night was date night. Dean, openly known to follow the beat of his own drum, had caught sight of an attractive young man who was in most of his classes now that he had transferred from some high demand prep school over in Kansas City or something. And Dean pursued him. And Cas wasn’t sure what he thought of sexuality, but he knew he had a gay cousin. And he wasn’t sure if this was a sexual encounter or some weird thing, but nerves set in because this handsomely darksenior asked him over to his place. Dean. His name.
The first meeting was cute. The second was delirious. The tenth was tonight. And tonight was going to be different from every other party, or encounter, or anything. Dean had an actual interest in this Cas guy and wanted to know him, not just fuck around with him. No. This Cas was different. Anything could happen.
Click Me – Zion.T ft. Dok2 | Megstiel
Who was the cute, yet snarky fake redhead in Castiel’s US Government class? She, had sadly, been addressed to an assigned seat, in front of Castiel. He always sat near the front – not on the front row, just in case Mr. Hawthorne decided to come stand near him. He didn’t want to hear of baseball or weird things. He hated this class because of the bias of the teacher. And snarky Meg had already caused a ruckus amongst the class – suggesting religion was so stupid and caused all these problems. Everyone fought. And though Cas was genuinely offended (he was raised Christian and devoted) – he was interested in Meg’s point of view and how different she was towards life here. Kansas wasn’t the most religious of the Bible Belt, but to set foot in a school that was… risky.
“What about you Castiel?” Hawthorne asked and Meg turned to him, curious. Cas froze. He wanted to hear her words, yet he was afraid to even bring up this topic. Meg stared, smirking.
Lonely – 2NE1 | Sam / Lucifer
Sam had had an “invisible friend” since he was sixteen. He was now twenty-seven. The “friend” had come and gone and it literally drove him crazy at points. And it was this inevitably fateful day that said friend returned to Sam once again. A birthday, where Sam was driving home to his parents and hopefully to see his older brother – they didn’t keep in contact because Sam always acted so “smart and too good for anyone” and he was offended.
“Sammy!” came the voice, nearly causing Sam to swerve into the other lane. No one was coming, no one behind, so he was thankful nothing happened.
“What?” came his crackily voice. He saw his friend in the passenger seat, grinning so wide it was nearly creepy.
“I’m lonely… why don’t you talk to me anymore, Sammy?”
Sam wanted to roll the car, damage his brain, and get rid of the figment. No psychiatrist ever helped and Sam knew he was batshit crazy.
“Sammy~” he cooed.
“Shut up, Lucifer!”
“Awe… he told me to shut up!” Lucifer smiled, holding his hand over the spot where his heart should be.
Love Love Love – Roy Kim | Destiel as Demon!Dean and Angel!Castiel
Though Sam Winchester was visably shaken and upset about regaining his brother, only to witness his body and soul turned to coal; being a demon. Sam researched and looked up things and asked Cas, who never had a good reply, he had to turn Dean back.
After days, when Dean nearly killed his little brother (that was the saddest, most heart wrenching thing to Cas; to witness the man who loved his brother so much nearly kill him); the day Cas grabbed Deanmon and hugged him tight, whispering over and over that it was over. Sam looked so rattled and scared as he took Dean’s knife and backed away. Dean and Cas lit up and Dean’s black eyes were fading and Cas was putting so much of himself into Dean to try and pry that damned mark from Dean’s soul. He had to have the old boy back that he adored and was so bonded to. And Sam was afraid this would end both of them. But it didn’t. And Dean changed and Sam swore it was because of Cas. He knew it was.
Russian Roulette – Spica | Crowley & Dean
Crowley had to admit… it was fun playing around with Dean, getting chicks every night, drinking and drinking, ordering his minions around and rubbing this awesome prodigy in their faces. He admired how charming Dean could be. But it wasn’t until Dean started killing bad guys that Crowley took notice. As King of Hell, killing the bad kids was an okay thing, but catching those at sudden moments, or the ones who were so innocent and blind was more fun. And yet he witnessed Dean go around killing guys in the act and leaving his face all over cameras and whatnot. That damned younger Winchester would see. And Crowley figured he’d have to shut Dean down or limit him to some place better – Purgatory, maybe? It was risky. Crowley knew that within an instant Dean could murder him, cutting his head off and sending the bastard anywhere… and he didn’t really want to risk his throne because he told Dean Winchester to stop.
It was in the chamber, where his throne was, where he heard complaint after complaint from demons over Dean, and he spun his knife around, rolling his eyes. Did they not realize how risky this was?
Bad Girl Good Girl – miss A | Team Free Will
Team Free Will was back in action. Dean wasn’t a demon anymore (slightly, though no one knew that), Sam was still tall and like a moose, and Cas was sad from Hannah’s departure. But TFW was back and badass. Sam and Dean captured the bad version of Charlie and saved Oz, they helped Cas’s vessel’s daughter recover, and more. So what now? What was there to do? A Hell of a lot, truthfully. But they ended up in a bar, it had karaoke, and Cas was up right now. Sam chose the song. Some girly song. Cas, of course, didn’t know it. So this was-
[I sang and danced to the song and don’t care to finish this.]
틈 – Urban Zapaka & Soyu | Dean & Anna
Anna was another light in Dean’s life that ended suddenly, and it was another farewell love. But years later, Anna returned, thanking Dean and spending another night with him – though nothing intimate happened. They talked, and Dean cried over things he hadn’t thought of in so long. Anna had sensed his shaken, upset state, and she wanted to comfort him. Cas wasn’t able right now, and Sam would be given a fake smile by Dean. So, as the sweet angel she’d always been (seemingly following Castiel’s role), she’d come down to help Dean and give him the love he needed right then. She felt his broken, raw and bloody soul and felt his pain. And she wanted to mend it, but his soul was far from a mending state of solution.
And by the wee morning hours, Anna told Dean of how there was still a long life of strife and war ahead and things were far from over. And she spoke of how she wished she could save the two boys from harm. She was answered with, “It’s our fate. I’m Michael’s, Sammy is Lucifer’s. Simple.” And Anna felt her heart clench. This boy was broken and far from fixing, but she felt his thankfulness and smiled to him.
Hello, my wonderful friends~! <3 ^__^
First off, to those who still comment (which I appreciate so, so, sooo much), did you know my name is Zoe? Did I ever formally introduce myself? To all the older applicants, I did and we became everlasting friends, so with the rest of you, I hope that I can be that way, too!
Anyways, it's around 1.30 AM where I am and I'm working on things... and thought, "Why not write a tiny Q&A for Lilac and about me, sort of." And here I am! So, just some small deets and whatnot... you know, just because. FIRST I SHALL REPLY TO COMMENTS HERE INSTEAD OF IN THE COMMENT SECTION BC IT requires too much rn.
frappemono: Woot, woot! <3 Oh, no no~ Thanks for reading my lameness. Ahaha. But I feel that! I never read anymore... except my review job, but whatever. I get you entirely! But it's okay to be gone for long periods. Just don't stress!
Danbi and Naleen seem like the two most obvious choices, so I went away from them. ^^ Want me to add more Got7? I plan to anyways but knowing this makes me happy! I couldn't really decide who to partner up as friends, but I think I got this down. Heh. And Eunmi is great! <3
Thank you for thanking me. Ahahahah- I'm weird, oh well. But I hope to write more. Even for a couple people! I always write for myself, but having a supporter makes my day better.
:')
Oh and Thanksgiving is over. It's... near the end of November here. I'm awful for not remembering the day. But you celebrate and eat food. The thing is that when the first pilgrims came to the US, eventually there was a peace treaty type of feast and from then on they celebrated the day giving thanks. Might Google it since I only briefly explain. ^^ It's mainly food and saying thanks and prayer. America in a summary, tbh.
glance: You! Thank you a bunch! Heerin is a precious character and I love writing her, so yeah. My crazy flows in to her crazy. :))
becausesuga: ahahHAH you are precious! I already replied but eheh, it's still cute! Abby ftw, huh? Fighting! I hope to make much more drama in the future. Any celebs you want to see?
TINA: Did I never replY?! Oh no! But aside from Arisu and Daeun, no one really "leaves" officially. I plan great things for the characters! /nods happily/ Now there is a new project though! So I'm excited to show it. Heh! x) And what hinting? Ahahah. Ehh... the other trainees are parts of things especially for them, so in a way, yeah! STAY HEALTHY TOO AND YES THEY ARE SPICY. <3
1. When, why, and how did "Lilac" get started?
It all started with me and a close friend, whom I call Linsay unnie or Squirrel, and we talked about doing an apply fic for a girl group. She and I are always supporting U-Kiss and their extremely hard work in the music industry! And with apply fics, U-Kiss was far from popular; all you ever saw was SM Ent. and YG getting the apply fics because their fan bases are greater than NH's. So... we decided upon our U-Kiss faves (even though Linsay was highly favoriting Infinite at the time and I refused...)
We decided upon "LilacHeart" as the name, originally. It was described as "a heart that isn't like everyone else's and is a calm, not overly girly or sexy tone." And that's what we dreamt up for Lilac. However, Linsay never really updated and she only helped me with ideas. But I still credit her forever!
LilacHeart, after talking to lovely subbies and friends about the name, concept, and et cetera (I like being interactive... ^^) - there was a decision of shortening the name to Lilac [라이락] because it was easier to chant. End of story on that one. And "Hearts" was mainly for the concept title, and not a special title anyone ever referred to after that.
WHEN it started was late 2011, early 2012. I hadn't heard of EXO or SM's plans yet, so after creating the idea of putting up both a Korean and Chinese based group, then hearing of EXO, I was astonished! I freaked out completely... and made use of this humor in the fic by displaying a similar (dramatic, at that) attitude in Eunmi. Eunmi's creator, Tina/Sumi, is a lovely lady and I hold her dear to my heart after all this time. Thank you for letting me use your character so gratefully over the past few years. ^^
Also, original Lilac applicants are shown throughout the story, too, but as rivals, trainees, etc. So any random really isn't a random, so to say... they're an applicant who sadly didn't pass my requirements. But I still try to do justice!
2. Why I removed Vizio, the power vocal and Korean-dumb Chinese leader, and Yoo Sawng, the shooting star Umma from America.
Vizio's creator, another lovely person, had applied A LOT to stories and we talked and she always gave the best feedback by far; and after doing all I could, and seeing her character in other stories she applied to... I backed out and removed Vizio. For the sake of creativity and giving other characters a chance, I do think Vizio is a great character and shows a lot of passion and emotion, but I don't think her character should be in a girl group. She is too rambunctious and favors acting highly over girl group jobs.
Yoo Sawng, on the other hand, was a hard decision. Yoo Sawng was the Umma (mother) and the real leader of Lilac, whether the title was there or not. She was from Nevada, USA, was mixed and was a good, stable character... but I felt too bland after a while. I never did her justice and I'm so sorry to the creator because I fail... Yoo Sawng will still get her happy ending... just not as a Lilac girl. I place her as studying in the US while all of Lilac's new things take place.
3. Why didn't you remove S.Me, Eunmi, Bae Kyon, or Chaerin? Why not start over?
Too much back story and detail already worked out. Though I hate some of the stuff I wrote back in 2012, I find it soothing seeing how far I've come and how I've changed the girls along with myself. S.Me (Esme), is a bright light that never dies out, yet she is the emotional one and isn't looking for a Prince Charming; Eunmi has found her inner strength to go out and get what she wants and fates finds her happily; Bae Kyon was a debatable one. Mikunnie is her creator and thank the Heavens for this wonderful woman! I adore her and hope we remain friends for life! But for Bae Kyon, I ended up feeling like I was making her too innocent, or too arrogant, but then I thought about the whole "Ice Princess" thing going on with Eunmi, too, and they were so similar. I dn't like the overused stereotypes, if you didn't know. And I really considered having Bae Kyon back out or something drastic happen. I hope I can advance Bae Kyon further, but I don't know. As for Chaerin, I about took her out, too, but then I realized she and the three current are super close and she wouldn't give up for the world... so why should I? Chaerin was my character and bares all the details of my life, except for a few. She's the most racially diverse of the quad and I made her act arrogant and bossy. So... the four are similar and I always questioned my decision, but I think having four 18 y/os try to navigate the KPOP Industry and do a reality/variety show over choosing newbies would be fun. Wee ones like them always have something coming up in their lives, right?
4. How are you deciding who to let go?
I decided early on who I wanted in Lilac. Then I redid it. Then I redid it some more... And finally, after what? Two years, I get down to business and say, "Hey. I'm going to finish this and let the winds steer me to victory!" And my battle cry was released!
But! Let me give you this: Daeun and Arisu are old applicants. Daeun is like Chaerin and Eunmi completely, yet older and her motherly instincts are more defined in this. Though she's the reigning queen of old trainees, she will be sent on a new, happier path, I promise! As for Arisu, she was basically Bae Kyon except not Japanese and was much more reserved. I never rooted for Arisu, but I wanted her there to show that every kind of girl type was up for the positions. Arisu, to me, just didn't click.
And after redoing the list of who gets in so much... my final choice would be shocking to 2013 me! I have the story lines plotted, just need to get some writing done, huh? Sorry about that... But! Christmas time is going to be our awesome anniversary of the beginning of this crap, so, YAY! <3
Also, the girls who eventually get chosen are for talent and strength alone, and the ones booted get a surprise, so... nothing ends bad. Except, maybe a few things? ;)
5. Personal life:
So, here's me: I'm Zoe. Except, two dots over that 'e' in my name. I am seventeen and much wiser than I should be... given the fact I've had to grow up since my diagnosis of a disease in 2008. I've never had a normal life since and never got to experience the full pre-teen and crazy teen years. Though this year is hectic enough! Drama, drama, drama, guys! I'm a Senior in high school and it's awful. You learn a lot, but man... the work is ridiculous! They act as if we have no lives. But, my state and the US is a bunch of wimps compared to places, so I digress...
For me, personally, I do sing and dance and have always dreamed to be a famous dancer (mainly ballet but thanks to my disease being a muscle disease... that shit went out the window fast!) - I created the group with my own character to live out the world in my writing. So I made it really fanfic like, but aimed for reality instead. I have talked to a few K-Idols personally and it's fun, but such a pain in the neck sometimes... the industry is crazy and hard to get in to if you want to be "that" type of famous, you know?
I speak some Korean, have lots of foreign friends, speak some Spanish, love writing, love anything artsy, have had one bf in my life, kinda anti-love so it's hard for me to go all mushy in fanfics... yeah. You can add me on Kakaotalk though, searching my usual username. Heh.
6. To the creators and my opinions on the charas at hand:
>> Dryopenclud | Jung Daeun, whom I name Dami, is my favorite dancer and a very lovely chara. She's so casual and laidback and I'm sorry for the injustice I've done by not accepting her fully. ^^;;;
>> 1kissinlove | Ahn Naleen Seuli, whom I adore wholeheartedly, like- whoahoho~ This girl is on fire and I have Chaerin nickname her "Hoe-bag" since you gave her the nickname of Pumpkin, which in Korean is "hobak", so the similarity, you see? I adore her, even if she's an ass that I've created her to be.
>> DalHeera | Sephira Kanes, my sweet. You, creator, I have not seen in many a year. But Sephira lived from my other apply fic to now because of my adoration that burns so bright, but is probably a dwarf star or something, I don't know. Sephira is great and I appreciate all the detail you supplied me with.<3
>> EunMi_stitch | Seol Eunjoo, the Aussie. She's the Kevin Woo lookalike, I swear! And she's so dumb in Korean culture, even though she studied hard. And her back story now is such a fave that I cry internally!
>> Deedarling/becausesuga | Lee "Abby" Naera. I thought, at first, I wouldn't add her, but after some adjustments and making her my "Gangnam/SM reeking girl", I played and had lots of fun with it. Abby is another fave and I hold her up on a pedestal because of all the joking I make of her. She's so young and even down to the laugh you showed me for her... <3
>> islandgurl212/glance | Choi Heerin, another Chinese beauty that is so loving and elegant with everything. I try to work her Christianity in there for her (hint) and want to display her variety show powers and the Busan accent, so I'm going to really enjoy this girl to the ends of the story and back!
>> Pinkblooded | Song Hyemi; I really hated the idea of idolizing Hyemi since she's a star, but I thought of how the media would do it, and I made her look so amazing and confident, yet have self doubt and show that, so did I do well? She's a actress, now girl group trainee, and she knows the pain and how to act in front of cameras. I think she's adds to the mix. ^^
>> frappemono | Moon Danbi / Bee. When I first started the drama between Bee and Naleen, I was a bit frightened that the creators would punch me through the internet because I made the two seem so... vicious. But trainees aren't the sweetest! They have to survive and show what's best. Plus, Danbi is one character I love to put up in the spotlight ALL THE TIME! From her wit, to her nicknames, to her obsession over weird things such as Pokemon and lollipops (like a child, heh.) - I try my best to show her off.
>> -Donut/poopsama || Kim Kyunghee, Aulaire. You are a dear friend to me, Ria, and having to show off a girl so much like you and so distinct with her ways and not the cute and clumsy girl everyone expects... thank you. <3
>> LoveLikeLucifer | Bae Arisu. Your character was great! I just... had to let her go since I felt I'd do injustice with her, too, having another innocent figure to display alongside Arisu. But thank you! <3
7. What are the other applicants' charas?
Emily Devereaux / Emi Roh 의미롷, the tiny and young Viet-Canadian native. She gets close with BAP and Nu'Est
Kang Chanbyul / Belle, Ailee's star chld. She's from Ohio, 17, and part French. She is a K-Idol lookalike to many!
Lee Byungrin / Violet / Vi, the violinist who strives for glory. She nearly dies during training.
Oh Chaerin / Cherry / Aerin, the young face who is much like Belle, but an Army brat.
Go Rina, DV's Ulsan beauty and former YG star face.
Chae Minjung/Yoon Seungri/BabyMinn, the fierce original of HelloVenus and an almost playgirl for After School. She's Kahi's favorite. Created by MiniiPandaa.
Ahn Yoonji / Nixie, the nerdy rapper who tries her best to get facetime.
Jung Maehwa, the close friend to Lilac's girls and S.Me's lookalike; she's a '97 liner and screams a lot.
Joon Minhae / Kiara, the vocals of DV. She likes to shine, is from Seoul, close to SHINee, and a pretty face.
Lee Namgyu / Leah, 14, was in SM and replaced by Lami.
Park Minah / Marina, from Russia. Scouted by Starship and caught in a scandal.
Nessa Miriam Tan / Tan Nanzhi, the Native American slash Chinese chick who fights.
And yes, they have relevant meaning, cough thanks tina cough heh. ^^
Thanks to MultiPersonailty, Yoo Sawng's creator, Tina/Sumi, SweetSabry, Mikunnie, 1kissinlove, DalHeera, EunMi_stitch, becausesuga, glance, Pinkblooded, frappemono, Ria bae, bunnyxwarrior, Dryopencloud, LoveLikeLucifer, Friendship_Luv, Maehwa's creator, MiniiPandaa, RadiantBelle, Skulls, exopanda, aesthtcs, chokoreto, liliazforever, Umi-Archangel, xingbae, Baby99, -mayvees, Happy_Virus_21, Linsay unnie, poster makers and whatnot. <3 Even though it is a small family, it's one I treasure so much! I love you guys from back then until now.
Pick a pairing or fandom you like Turn your music player on and turn it to random Write a drabble/ficlet to each song that plays. You only have the duration of the song; when it starts you start and when it stops you stop. No lingering after! No matter how weird, horrid or whacked out your drabble/ficlet is Do ten of these and then post them!
This is AFF, and I should be doing my fave OTP or something… or a certain group, but this only says pairing or fandom and I’m loophole-ing my way out and taking the highway to hell ba dum tsss~
Supernatural. SPN fans. This is for you. I’m choosing that fandom, but doing multiple pairings. Except, I shall list them first. Then let my phone play and choose the fate of it all.
Famed Destiel bitches.
DeanxJo
SamxRuby
Another Destiel
Megstiel
Sam/Lucifer
Destiel but Demon!Dean and Angel!Castiel
Crowley / Dean
Team Free Will
Dean/Anna
Satellite Heart – Anya Marina | Destiel
Dean sat at the table, drinking his usual, waiting to hear from Sam over the current case. He hadn’t seen Castiel in days, hearing that he was upset over Hannah leaving. And though he wasn’t thrilled that Hannah returned to Heaven, he was filled with a mixture of jealousy and a weird antsy feeling that Castiel wasn’t with Hannah anymore. The jealousy part had faded, but it was still there, hurting in a way. He cared for Cas, but he didn’t love him, right? Oh, no, he’d correct his mind; shaking his head to throw the thoughts far away, only to make them rumble around in his head even more. He just wanted to see Cas, to see him back to his old self and not caring that Hannah made that instantaneous decision. What he didn’t know what the feelings that built up between the two angels on their small journey. And those thoughts of possibilities ached Dean. But he swore to himself it was just friendship jealously. That’s all…. Right?
Airplane – B.o.B ft. Hailey Williams | Dean x Jo
It had been years since Jo Harvelle died. It had been years and the pain still ached both Dean and Sam to their very inner core. And what souls they had left. And Dean could count all the snide remarks and teasing Jo would send his way if she saw him now. He’d laugh, ruffling her hair, and joking back, say something like, “You want to carry the Mark of Cain for awhile then?” But he couldn’t. And even after all this time, he’d pray up to Jo and Ellen, thanking them for that day. And he’d hope the two angels would hear his soft words that barely left his mouth.
It was that fateful night that Dean was upset over nearly going back to his demon self, that he nearly cried in his room, hands to his eyes; he heard that ever so familiar voice drawing his head up. “You’re strong, Dean. It’s not something you can just get over.” And she wasn’t there, but he felt the words hit him and a sob swell up in his chest.
Broken – Seether ft. Amy Lee | Sam x Ruby
Years. Something Sam shared with Dean when it came to loves. His regretful love towards a particular demon would come back at unexpecting moments when something would happen that reminded Sam of those days. Those days weren’t the best; killing, murdering, drinking demon blood, having such telekinetic powers throb through his veins and what soul he had then. Ruby supported him, with fake words, and sex, and pain. She urged him on. All to be betrayed in the end. Sam knew Ruby wasn’t one he should love, but that lust and odd feeling of attachment still haunted Sam on the weak days, the hard days, the days something strange happened and he swore he could feel her touch.
Ruby, now a victim to the everlost dungeons of Hell, where Crowley threw her, wasn’t dead nor alive. She suffered. Her worship towards Lilith got her here… but was it worth it? Was her attachment to that poor, pitiful Winchester boy worth it? She could admit the lust towards him. And she missed the touch; the panting in between intimate moments where she swore she was human again. But it was worth the deception and pain; to break the final seal. Only to be cheated again. And she swore… nothing was worth it after that.
Anything Could Happen – Ellie Goulding | another Destiel
Dean Winchester was a normal, rebellious teen, locked in Kansas. His younger brother was a nerd; he’d been away at some speech event and though Dean usually supported him and followed along, he was forbidden after last time. And that was okay.
But this night was date night. Dean, openly known to follow the beat of his own drum, had caught sight of an attractive young man who was in most of his classes now that he had transferred from some high demand prep school over in Kansas City or something. And Dean pursued him. And Cas wasn’t sure what he thought of sexuality, but he knew he had a gay cousin. And he wasn’t sure if this was a sexual encounter or some weird thing, but nerves set in because this handsomely darksenior asked him over to his place. Dean. His name.
The first meeting was cute. The second was delirious. The tenth was tonight. And tonight was going to be different from every other party, or encounter, or anything. Dean had an actual interest in this Cas guy and wanted to know him, not just fuck around with him. No. This Cas was different. Anything could happen.
Click Me – Zion.T ft. Dok2 | Megstiel
Who was the cute, yet snarky fake redhead in Castiel’s US Government class? She, had sadly, been addressed to an assigned seat, in front of Castiel. He always sat near the front – not on the front row, just in case Mr. Hawthorne decided to come stand near him. He didn’t want to hear of baseball or weird things. He hated this class because of the bias of the teacher. And snarky Meg had already caused a ruckus amongst the class – suggesting religion was so stupid and caused all these problems. Everyone fought. And though Cas was genuinely offended (he was raised Christian and devoted) – he was interested in Meg’s point of view and how different she was towards life here. Kansas wasn’t the most religious of the Bible Belt, but to set foot in a school that was… risky.
“What about you Castiel?” Hawthorne asked and Meg turned to him, curious. Cas froze. He wanted to hear her words, yet he was afraid to even bring up this topic. Meg stared, smirking.
Lonely – 2NE1 | Sam / Lucifer
Sam had had an “invisible friend” since he was sixteen. He was now twenty-seven. The “friend” had come and gone and it literally drove him crazy at points. And it was this inevitably fateful day that said friend returned to Sam once again. A birthday, where Sam was driving home to his parents and hopefully to see his older brother – they didn’t keep in contact because Sam always acted so “smart and too good for anyone” and he was offended.
“Sammy!” came the voice, nearly causing Sam to swerve into the other lane. No one was coming, no one behind, so he was thankful nothing happened.
“What?” came his crackily voice. He saw his friend in the passenger seat, grinning so wide it was nearly creepy.
“I’m lonely… why don’t you talk to me anymore, Sammy?”
Sam wanted to roll the car, damage his brain, and get rid of the figment. No psychiatrist ever helped and Sam knew he was batshit crazy.
“Sammy~” he cooed.
“Shut up, Lucifer!”
“Awe… he told me to shut up!” Lucifer smiled, holding his hand over the spot where his heart should be.
Love Love Love – Roy Kim | Destiel as Demon!Dean and Angel!Castiel
Though Sam Winchester was visably shaken and upset about regaining his brother, only to witness his body and soul turned to coal; being a demon. Sam researched and looked up things and asked Cas, who never had a good reply, he had to turn Dean back.
After days, when Dean nearly killed his little brother (that was the saddest, most heart wrenching thing to Cas; to witness the man who loved his brother so much nearly kill him); the day Cas grabbed Deanmon and hugged him tight, whispering over and over that it was over. Sam looked so rattled and scared as he took Dean’s knife and backed away. Dean and Cas lit up and Dean’s black eyes were fading and Cas was putting so much of himself into Dean to try and pry that damned mark from Dean’s soul. He had to have the old boy back that he adored and was so bonded to. And Sam was afraid this would end both of them. But it didn’t. And Dean changed and Sam swore it was because of Cas. He knew it was.
Russian Roulette – Spica | Crowley & Dean
Crowley had to admit… it was fun playing around with Dean, getting chicks every night, drinking and drinking, ordering his minions around and rubbing this awesome prodigy in their faces. He admired how charming Dean could be. But it wasn’t until Dean started killing bad guys that Crowley took notice. As King of Hell, killing the bad kids was an okay thing, but catching those at sudden moments, or the ones who were so innocent and blind was more fun. And yet he witnessed Dean go around killing guys in the act and leaving his face all over cameras and whatnot. That damned younger Winchester would see. And Crowley figured he’d have to shut Dean down or limit him to some place better – Purgatory, maybe? It was risky. Crowley knew that within an instant Dean could murder him, cutting his head off and sending the bastard anywhere… and he didn’t really want to risk his throne because he told Dean Winchester to stop.
It was in the chamber, where his throne was, where he heard complaint after complaint from demons over Dean, and he spun his knife around, rolling his eyes. Did they not realize how risky this was?
Bad Girl Good Girl – miss A | Team Free Will
Team Free Will was back in action. Dean wasn’t a demon anymore (slightly, though no one knew that), Sam was still tall and like a moose, and Cas was sad from Hannah’s departure. But TFW was back and badass. Sam and Dean captured the bad version of Charlie and saved Oz, they helped Cas’s vessel’s daughter recover, and more. So what now? What was there to do? A Hell of a lot, truthfully. But they ended up in a bar, it had karaoke, and Cas was up right now. Sam chose the song. Some girly song. Cas, of course, didn’t know it. So this was-
[I sang and danced to the song and don’t care to finish this.]
틈 – Urban Zapaka & Soyu | Dean & Anna
Anna was another light in Dean’s life that ended suddenly, and it was another farewell love. But years later, Anna returned, thanking Dean and spending another night with him – though nothing intimate happened. They talked, and Dean cried over things he hadn’t thought of in so long. Anna had sensed his shaken, upset state, and she wanted to comfort him. Cas wasn’t able right now, and Sam would be given a fake smile by Dean. So, as the sweet angel she’d always been (seemingly following Castiel’s role), she’d come down to help Dean and give him the love he needed right then. She felt his broken, raw and bloody soul and felt his pain. And she wanted to mend it, but his soul was far from a mending state of solution.
And by the wee morning hours, Anna told Dean of how there was still a long life of strife and war ahead and things were far from over. And she spoke of how she wished she could save the two boys from harm. She was answered with, “It’s our fate. I’m Michael’s, Sammy is Lucifer’s. Simple.” And Anna felt her heart clench. This boy was broken and far from fixing, but she felt his thankfulness and smiled to him.
Hello, my wonderful friends~! <3 ^__^
First off, to those who still comment (which I appreciate so, so, sooo much), did you know my name is Zoe? Did I ever formally introduce myself? To all the older applicants, I did and we became everlasting friends, so with the rest of you, I hope that I can be that way, too!
Anyways, it's around 1.30 AM where I am and I'm working on things... and thought, "Why not write a tiny Q&A for Lilac and about me, sort of." And here I am! So, just some small deets and whatnot... you know, just because. FIRST I SHALL REPLY TO COMMENTS HERE INSTEAD OF IN THE COMMENT SECTION BC IT requires too much rn.
frappemono: Woot, woot! <3 Oh, no no~ Thanks for reading my lameness. Ahaha. But I feel that! I never read anymore... except my review job, but whatever. I get you entirely! But it's okay to be gone for long periods. Just don't stress!
Danbi and Naleen seem like the two most obvious choices, so I went away from them. ^^ Want me to add more Got7? I plan to anyways but knowing this makes me happy! I couldn't really decide who to partner up as friends, but I think I got this down. Heh. And Eunmi is great! <3
Thank you for thanking me. Ahahahah- I'm weird, oh well. But I hope to write more. Even for a couple people! I always write for myself, but having a supporter makes my day better.
:')
Oh and Thanksgiving is over. It's... near the end of November here. I'm awful for not remembering the day. But you celebrate and eat food. The thing is that when the first pilgrims came to the US, eventually there was a peace treaty type of feast and from then on they celebrated the day giving thanks. Might Google it since I only briefly explain. ^^ It's mainly food and saying thanks and prayer. America in a summary, tbh.
glance: You! Thank you a bunch! Heerin is a precious character and I love writing her, so yeah. My crazy flows in to her crazy. :))
becausesuga: ahahHAH you are precious! I already replied but eheh, it's still cute! Abby ftw, huh? Fighting! I hope to make much more drama in the future. Any celebs you want to see?
TINA: Did I never replY?! Oh no! But aside from Arisu and Daeun, no one really "leaves" officially. I plan great things for the characters! /nods happily/ Now there is a new project though! So I'm excited to show it. Heh! x) And what hinting? Ahahah. Ehh... the other trainees are parts of things especially for them, so in a way, yeah! STAY HEALTHY TOO AND YES THEY ARE SPICY. <3
1. When, why, and how did "Lilac" get started?
It all started with me and a close friend, whom I call Linsay unnie or Squirrel, and we talked about doing an apply fic for a girl group. She and I are always supporting U-Kiss and their extremely hard work in the music industry! And with apply fics, U-Kiss was far from popular; all you ever saw was SM Ent. and YG getting the apply fics because their fan bases are greater than NH's. So... we decided upon our U-Kiss faves (even though Linsay was highly favoriting Infinite at the time and I refused...)
We decided upon "LilacHeart" as the name, originally. It was described as "a heart that isn't like everyone else's and is a calm, not overly girly or sexy tone." And that's what we dreamt up for Lilac. However, Linsay never really updated and she only helped me with ideas. But I still credit her forever!
LilacHeart, after talking to lovely subbies and friends about the name, concept, and et cetera (I like being interactive... ^^) - there was a decision of shortening the name to Lilac [라이락] because it was easier to chant. End of story on that one. And "Hearts" was mainly for the concept title, and not a special title anyone ever referred to after that.
WHEN it started was late 2011, early 2012. I hadn't heard of EXO or SM's plans yet, so after creating the idea of putting up both a Korean and Chinese based group, then hearing of EXO, I was astonished! I freaked out completely... and made use of this humor in the fic by displaying a similar (dramatic, at that) attitude in Eunmi. Eunmi's creator, Tina/Sumi, is a lovely lady and I hold her dear to my heart after all this time. Thank you for letting me use your character so gratefully over the past few years. ^^
Also, original Lilac applicants are shown throughout the story, too, but as rivals, trainees, etc. So any random really isn't a random, so to say... they're an applicant who sadly didn't pass my requirements. But I still try to do justice!
2. Why I removed Vizio, the power vocal and Korean-dumb Chinese leader, and Yoo Sawng, the shooting star Umma from America.
Vizio's creator, another lovely person, had applied A LOT to stories and we talked and she always gave the best feedback by far; and after doing all I could, and seeing her character in other stories she applied to... I backed out and removed Vizio. For the sake of creativity and giving other characters a chance, I do think Vizio is a great character and shows a lot of passion and emotion, but I don't think her character should be in a girl group. She is too rambunctious and favors acting highly over girl group jobs.
Yoo Sawng, on the other hand, was a hard decision. Yoo Sawng was the Umma (mother) and the real leader of Lilac, whether the title was there or not. She was from Nevada, USA, was mixed and was a good, stable character... but I felt too bland after a while. I never did her justice and I'm so sorry to the creator because I fail... Yoo Sawng will still get her happy ending... just not as a Lilac girl. I place her as studying in the US while all of Lilac's new things take place.
3. Why didn't you remove S.Me, Eunmi, Bae Kyon, or Chaerin? Why not start over?
Too much back story and detail already worked out. Though I hate some of the stuff I wrote back in 2012, I find it soothing seeing how far I've come and how I've changed the girls along with myself. S.Me (Esme), is a bright light that never dies out, yet she is the emotional one and isn't looking for a Prince Charming; Eunmi has found her inner strength to go out and get what she wants and fates finds her happily; Bae Kyon was a debatable one. Mikunnie is her creator and thank the Heavens for this wonderful woman! I adore her and hope we remain friends for life! But for Bae Kyon, I ended up feeling like I was making her too innocent, or too arrogant, but then I thought about the whole "Ice Princess" thing going on with Eunmi, too, and they were so similar. I dn't like the overused stereotypes, if you didn't know. And I really considered having Bae Kyon back out or something drastic happen. I hope I can advance Bae Kyon further, but I don't know. As for Chaerin, I about took her out, too, but then I realized she and the three current are super close and she wouldn't give up for the world... so why should I? Chaerin was my character and bares all the details of my life, except for a few. She's the most racially diverse of the quad and I made her act arrogant and bossy. So... the four are similar and I always questioned my decision, but I think having four 18 y/os try to navigate the KPOP Industry and do a reality/variety show over choosing newbies would be fun. Wee ones like them always have something coming up in their lives, right?
4. How are you deciding who to let go?
I decided early on who I wanted in Lilac. Then I redid it. Then I redid it some more... And finally, after what? Two years, I get down to business and say, "Hey. I'm going to finish this and let the winds steer me to victory!" And my battle cry was released!
But! Let me give you this: Daeun and Arisu are old applicants. Daeun is like Chaerin and Eunmi completely, yet older and her motherly instincts are more defined in this. Though she's the reigning queen of old trainees, she will be sent on a new, happier path, I promise! As for Arisu, she was basically Bae Kyon except not Japanese and was much more reserved. I never rooted for Arisu, but I wanted her there to show that every kind of girl type was up for the positions. Arisu, to me, just didn't click.
And after redoing the list of who gets in so much... my final choice would be shocking to 2013 me! I have the story lines plotted, just need to get some writing done, huh? Sorry about that... But! Christmas time is going to be our awesome anniversary of the beginning of this crap, so, YAY! <3
Also, the girls who eventually get chosen are for talent and strength alone, and the ones booted get a surprise, so... nothing ends bad. Except, maybe a few things? ;)
5. Personal life:
So, here's me: I'm Zoe. Except, two dots over that 'e' in my name. I am seventeen and much wiser than I should be... given the fact I've had to grow up since my diagnosis of a disease in 2008. I've never had a normal life since and never got to experience the full pre-teen and crazy teen years. Though this year is hectic enough! Drama, drama, drama, guys! I'm a Senior in high school and it's awful. You learn a lot, but man... the work is ridiculous! They act as if we have no lives. But, my state and the US is a bunch of wimps compared to places, so I digress...
For me, personally, I do sing and dance and have always dreamed to be a famous dancer (mainly ballet but thanks to my disease being a muscle disease... that shit went out the window fast!) - I created the group with my own character to live out the world in my writing. So I made it really fanfic like, but aimed for reality instead. I have talked to a few K-Idols personally and it's fun, but such a pain in the neck sometimes... the industry is crazy and hard to get in to if you want to be "that" type of famous, you know?
I speak some Korean, have lots of foreign friends, speak some Spanish, love writing, love anything artsy, have had one bf in my life, kinda anti-love so it's hard for me to go all mushy in fanfics... yeah. You can add me on Kakaotalk though, searching my usual username. Heh.
6. To the creators and my opinions on the charas at hand:
>> Dryopenclud | Jung Daeun, whom I name Dami, is my favorite dancer and a very lovely chara. She's so casual and laidback and I'm sorry for the injustice I've done by not accepting her fully. ^^;;;
>> 1kissinlove | Ahn Naleen Seuli, whom I adore wholeheartedly, like- whoahoho~ This girl is on fire and I have Chaerin nickname her "Hoe-bag" since you gave her the nickname of Pumpkin, which in Korean is "hobak", so the similarity, you see? I adore her, even if she's an ass that I've created her to be.
>> DalHeera | Sephira Kanes, my sweet. You, creator, I have not seen in many a year. But Sephira lived from my other apply fic to now because of my adoration that burns so bright, but is probably a dwarf star or something, I don't know. Sephira is great and I appreciate all the detail you supplied me with.<3
>> EunMi_stitch | Seol Eunjoo, the Aussie. She's the Kevin Woo lookalike, I swear! And she's so dumb in Korean culture, even though she studied hard. And her back story now is such a fave that I cry internally!
>> Deedarling/becausesuga | Lee "Abby" Naera. I thought, at first, I wouldn't add her, but after some adjustments and making her my "Gangnam/SM reeking girl", I played and had lots of fun with it. Abby is another fave and I hold her up on a pedestal because of all the joking I make of her. She's so young and even down to the laugh you showed me for her... <3
>> islandgurl212/glance | Choi Heerin, another Chinese beauty that is so loving and elegant with everything. I try to work her Christianity in there for her (hint) and want to display her variety show powers and the Busan accent, so I'm going to really enjoy this girl to the ends of the story and back!
>> Pinkblooded | Song Hyemi; I really hated the idea of idolizing Hyemi since she's a star, but I thought of how the media would do it, and I made her look so amazing and confident, yet have self doubt and show that, so did I do well? She's a actress, now girl group trainee, and she knows the pain and how to act in front of cameras. I think she's adds to the mix. ^^
>> frappemono | Moon Danbi / Bee. When I first started the drama between Bee and Naleen, I was a bit frightened that the creators would punch me through the internet because I made the two seem so... vicious. But trainees aren't the sweetest! They have to survive and show what's best. Plus, Danbi is one character I love to put up in the spotlight ALL THE TIME! From her wit, to her nicknames, to her obsession over weird things such as Pokemon and lollipops (like a child, heh.) - I try my best to show her off.
>> -Donut/poopsama || Kim Kyunghee, Aulaire. You are a dear friend to me, Ria, and having to show off a girl so much like you and so distinct with her ways and not the cute and clumsy girl everyone expects... thank you. <3
>> LoveLikeLucifer | Bae Arisu. Your character was great! I just... had to let her go since I felt I'd do injustice with her, too, having another innocent figure to display alongside Arisu. But thank you! <3
7. What are the other applicants' charas?
Emily Devereaux / Emi Roh 의미롷, the tiny and young Viet-Canadian native. She gets close with BAP and Nu'Est
Kang Chanbyul / Belle, Ailee's star chld. She's from Ohio, 17, and part French. She is a K-Idol lookalike to many!
Lee Byungrin / Violet / Vi, the violinist who strives for glory. She nearly dies during training.
Oh Chaerin / Cherry / Aerin, the young face who is much like Belle, but an Army brat.
Go Rina, DV's Ulsan beauty and former YG star face.
Chae Minjung/Yoon Seungri/BabyMinn, the fierce original of HelloVenus and an almost playgirl for After School. She's Kahi's favorite. Created by MiniiPandaa.
Ahn Yoonji / Nixie, the nerdy rapper who tries her best to get facetime.
Jung Maehwa, the close friend to Lilac's girls and S.Me's lookalike; she's a '97 liner and screams a lot.
Joon Minhae / Kiara, the vocals of DV. She likes to shine, is from Seoul, close to SHINee, and a pretty face.
Lee Namgyu / Leah, 14, was in SM and replaced by Lami.
Park Minah / Marina, from Russia. Scouted by Starship and caught in a scandal.
Nessa Miriam Tan / Tan Nanzhi, the Native American slash Chinese chick who fights.
And yes, they have relevant meaning, cough thanks tina cough heh. ^^
Thanks to MultiPersonailty, Yoo Sawng's creator, Tina/Sumi, SweetSabry, Mikunnie, 1kissinlove, DalHeera, EunMi_stitch, becausesuga, glance, Pinkblooded, frappemono, Ria bae, bunnyxwarrior, Dryopencloud, LoveLikeLucifer, Friendship_Luv, Maehwa's creator, MiniiPandaa, RadiantBelle, Skulls, exopanda, aesthtcs, chokoreto, liliazforever, Umi-Archangel, xingbae, Baby99, -mayvees, Happy_Virus_21, Linsay unnie, poster makers and whatnot. <3 Even though it is a small family, it's one I treasure so much! I love you guys from back then until now.
Name: Zoe Patterson
Known as: Cat Lady - jk! KissDromeda, KissDromedaGirl, Juliane (rp), Hyunchul 현철(rp), Sohee/소희.
Age: Nearly two decades old!
Lives at: Tumblr, AFF, blogspot, Twitter, and currently Evexia.
Country: USA
Favorite Colors: Pastels, Lilac, lavender, any shade of purple basically, white, silver, black, any shade of gray (however, Christian Grey isn't one), clear, any shade of blue, teal, coral, salmon.
Language: English (native), Korean (good enough), Spanish (good enough), intros in Italian, Japanese, Greek, and tagalog.
Hobbies: Writing (ofc), browsing the web, taking care of my cats, drawing, thinking up ideas, playing either Sims or Star Wars, reading, reviewing, dancing, singing, composing.
Favorite Quote: "If you believe in yourself, you're unstoppable."
Likes:
♥ Cats [this is a cat basecode so ofc this is here]
♥ Anything artistic
♥ Korean stuff, and many more cultures, too. I wanted to be an Egyptologist.
♥ Rapping and dancing; composing or choreographing
♥ Tumblr, Twitter, ifunny, etc.
Dislikes:
✖ Haters and fakers
✖ anxiety and depression [suffering from both]
✖ dealing with a lot of stress
Exchange Links
The current linked as "Zahra, Tsabbita, and DianeeyA' are the basecoders for this blog, so they get the creds! The rest are ones I like, my friends, and so on.
Random things since this is already here from the basecode. Check it out, and if it's empty, head on over to my Tumblr tags and browse around. eue Scroll down to the Others section!
I found myself in Wonderland, got back on my feet again - Alice by Avril Lavigne
